Saturday, November 5, 2011

Dirty Little Secret

On the evening of October 20th, a group of friends got together for dinner.  Little did they realize that their lives would be forever changed that evening.  

After they finished dinner, the group of friends were outside the restaurant.  An obviously inebriated man came up to them and began harassing one of the girls in the group.  He made some lewd and filthy comments.  Hearing this, her boyfriend (let's call him K) stepped up and confronted the offender, who quickly turned violent.  A heated argument ensued, and the group of friends pushed the drunk man away.  He left, but promised he would be back.  The group of friends didn't give his threats much thought, and went about their evening.  

About fifteen minutes later, the drunk returned.  He had about ten people as his backup.  They jumped out of their vehicles, brandishing knives and swords.   The drunk pulled out a knife and stabbed K in the stomach.  Seeing this, the girls among the group of friends ran back into the restaurant for safety, while one of the boys, let's call him R, blocked the doorway.  The thugs stabbed R four times.  The rest of the evening is irrelevant to this story, except for the fact that K succumbed to his injuries later that night.  Sadly, on October 31st, eleven days after this incident, R died as well.

That's a frightening and sad story, isn't it?  You would think that this occurred really late at night.  It happened at 10:30 pm.  There were many people around when this incident happened, but nobody stepped up to help.  They just stood and stared.  They were probably scared from seeing all those weapons. 

What are your thoughts on this story?  Are you outraged?  Are you wondering where the police were when all of this happened?  Do you want justice for K and R?  

Now what if I told you this incident occurred in Mumbai, India?  Do you still feel the way you do, or do you feel too far removed from the situation to think that there is anything you can do about it?

The ugly truth is that there are many places in the world where this kind of thing happens.  Even though women are now receiving an education, stepping out to good jobs and a great salary and are allowed to dream big, there are still segments within these societies that believe men are superior.  Whether it's this perceived superiority, or whether it is a sense of frustration driven by poverty, some men believe that they have a right to make negative comments and a woman cannot or should not do anything about it.  This isn't right.  Women should not have to apologize for their success.  Women should not be victimized by listening to lewd talk.  Women should not be touched inappropriately.  And yet this happens.  It happens in broad daylight.  It happens with everybody around.  It happens where everyone can see it happen, but chooses to do nothing about it.  That's the dirtly little secret in many countries.  It happens and yet nothing happens about it.  It happened again with this incident, and Keenan Santos and Reuben Fernandes (the K and the R from the story above) had to lose their lives for doing the right thing by standing up to defend the honor of women.

I didn't not know anything about this incident until earlier this week.  Here I was, in my safe corner of  Washington State, quite oblivious to what was happening in my country of origin, in the city where I was born.  One of my friends on Facebook added me to the Keenan Santos group.  I was mildly irritated by the fact that I was added to a group without my permission.  I went to the group page anyway, and I began to read the posts.  I could detect a sense of hopeless helplessness, but it was soon thwarted by a call to action.  People are joining together to take a stand.  The underlying outrage was calling for swift, street justice for the accused.  The anger was almost palpable and I wondered what could have happened that sparked these reactions.  I went online and found the stories.  I read with horror and was struck by how in a day and age of modern living, an incident so barbaric in its nature can still happen.  

So what can you and I do?  If you believe in prayer, please pray for the grieving families.  Please pray for the young group of people who had to witness their friends being attacked.  Please pray for the people who find themselves in situations like this as onlookers, that they may find the courage to step in to help.  Please pray for healing all around.  There are other things we can do. We can join the Facebook group and show our support as citizens of the world.  We don't have to be from India or know anybody from their to believe in justice for all, which includes everyone, no matter what part of the world.  You can share this story in any way you want to, so that more people are aware of these secrets that exist within more repressed societies.  There is also a petition out there to change attitudes toward women.  There are so many things you can do, in your own small way.  On behalf of Keenan and Reuben I implore you.  Please do something.  It doesn't have to be anything big.  Any action on your part will bring change to parts of the world that really need it.  

Please don't let Keenan's and Reuben's death be in vain.


Links to this story:

One of the first news stories
Keenans girlfriend describes how he was killed
Keenan Santos Facebook Group
Petition For Zero Tolerance Against Sexual Harrassment

3 comments:

Sammo said...

This is outrageous! This is the reason I recommend that all women should have some basic training in self defence!

Good article but disagree with the title - it is NOT a dirty little secret! It is all pervasive and the sad truth is that the society in most developing or third world countries accepts it as a fact of life :-(.

You said we should take some action, however I am unsure as to how I can help besides praying for the grieving families. Any suggestions?

God Bless,

Sammo

suz616 said...

Hi Sameena, as always thanks for reading and thanks for posting. I agree, it is an outrage. The last I read, this incident is causing a movement for women to arm themselves with basic self-defense paraphernalia like pepper spray. At least that's a start.

The title was based on the fact that not a lot of people outside India know this type of thing still exists in developing countries. You and I know because we grew up there.

As for action, any little thing you can do is helpful. Prayer, of course, will turn things around. You could sign the petition and get others to sign as well. You could join the FB page and again, get other to join. You could share the story with as many people as you can. I have posted links to the newspaper articles, all you need to do is forward them.

Thanks for the desire to take a stand. That, in and of itself, is really great!

tara said...

oh my goodness, susanna. this gave me such chills to read. thank you for sharing the story; hopefully in passing it on there can be lessons learned from tragedy.