Saturday, December 3, 2011

Of M&Ms and Sandwiches

The other day I was sitting at my desk at work during lunch, contemplating what my 50th blog post should be about.  I was mindlessly going through some M&Ms I had shoveled out of the large candy jar that sits outside our VP's office.  That's when I realized there was nothing mindless about my eating M&Ms.  I have a very specific and deliberate method I employ through this seemingly mundane task.  This made me think of other quirky things I do, which led me to the possibility of writing a "25 Random Things About Me" blog.  But then I began to wonder if that were just too narcissistic of me.  This thought process led me to believe I  can go into greater detail about one or two of my quirky habits so that people who read my blog can get to know me better.  Please bear in mind that I have never told any of this to anyone before.  Once you have read this blog post, I hope you still like me!  

M&Ms come in pretty colors.  Although they all taste the same, the colors add to the fun for the child in me.  They now come in different varieties as well.  You have your plain old chocolate ones that melt in your mouth, not in your hand.  You have the Peanut or Almond ones, a chocolate-esconced peanut (or almond) enrobed in a white shell.  There are also the  more complex Peanut Butter ones, which is a peanut butter M&M within a chocolate M&M.  Factor in all the different colors in each kind, and you have a seemingly endless number of combinations to play with.  And the candy jar at work holds these different types of M&Ms in their different colors.  

Here's what I do.  I grab some M&Ms and then set them on a plate or a paper towel.  I then separate them by type, by color.  Then I group them by color and type, one of each in every group.  The ones that don't have an all-inclusive group are like the kids that nobody wants to pick when choosing teams for a game.  No worries, I just have them in smaller groups, until I have one or two that don't belong anywhere.  Those get eaten first.  I go with the Peanut M&Ms first, then the peanut butter ones, then the plain.  I don't bite into the plain ones, but rather just let the outer shell dissolve and then the chocolate melt.  

Do you think I'm crazy?  If so, feel free to stop, but I hope you will read on.  

If you didn't think the M&Ms routine was questionable enough, let's talk about sandwiches.  

Most of my school-going life, my lunch consisted of a sandwich in some shape or form.  Peanut Butter and Jelly, Ham and Cheese, and Tuna were my favorite kind.  When I was a child, the only type of bread available was white.  Now of course, there are so many varieties and I don't eat white bread anymore.  But one thing from when I was a child still holds true today.  If my sandwich wasn't  made correctly, I didn't want to eat it.  Of course, that wasn't an option when I was younger, because my mother would never take kindly to my wasting food.  Let's just say my sandwich wasn't as enjoyable if it wasn't made the way I wanted.

First off, the bread slices had to be from the center or as close to the center of the loaf as possible.  The slices at each end weren't as soft.  Second, the slices had to match.  You know how bread doesn't normally bake up symmetrically, so if you cut a slice in two, each piece doesn't look the same?  If you take two slices of bread and flip one over and place it on the other, the two slices won't match.  That doesn't work for me.  Third, the bread has to be spread with condiments or fillings all the way to the edge.  I hate when a glob of peanut butter is plopped into the center and then not spread out.  The same goes for the rest of what is inside the sandwich.  It's just not right when everything is stacked in the middle and hardly anything near the edges.  On the rare occasion that I have a sandwich for lunch from the grocery store deli, the first thing I do is open it up and rearrange it to my liking.  It makes my sandwich easier to bite into, and ensures that I have more than just bread left at the very end.  Also, I like my sandwich cut in half.  Not vertically, but diagonally across.  No, I don't have a preference if it is cut diagonally beginning at the top left or top right corner.  I'm not that picky!  

Then comes the Eating the Sandwich part.  I am almost embarrassed to admit this, but I like to eat the crusts first, then the middle.  I always have, and I probably always will.  I love to save the best for last.  I have to resist this urge when I am  with people, for fear of what they will think of me.  But when I am alone, this is what I do.  I remember how it used to drive my brother crazy to watch me.  He would tell me to grow up.  This is my younger brother we are talking about!  

So there you have it, dear reader.  This is who I am, and this is how I eat my M&Ms and my sandwiches.  This is what makes me me.  I'm sure I have many more quirks that you may have noticed that I may not be aware of.  I'm sure that you have as many quirks that you may not know about, but they are what make you who you are.  We are not perfect and I don't think we are supposed to be.  As long as our quirks don't negatively impact someone else (like someone burping into my ear), I think our little idiosyncrasies are what make us more fun to be around.


I hope so.