There was a time when I used to blog regularly. I would make an attempt to blog every week. If I wasn't out celebrating the last day of the workweek with friends or co-workers at one of our usual watering holes, you would find me on a Friday evening at a coffee shop at my laptop, sipping a cold or warm mocha as the weather demanded. You would hear my fingers click-clack at the keyboard while I typed fast, trying to put my thoughts on paper before they got away from me. If I didn't find the time to blog on a Friday evening, I would do so the first thing Saturday morning after I had woken up and had breakfast. A mug of homemade tea, finished with milk and sugar would warm my soul as I poured out my thoughts into a blog post.
I still remember what got me motivated to write in the first place. I was beginning to feel that all the technology surrounding me was making things a little too easy for me and that I was losing my creative edge. In a crazy kind of way that I couldn't explain, I felt like my brain cells were wasting away and that I needed to do something to keep them from doing so. One of the things I used to be passionate about when I was growing up was writing. So I decided to take it up again. I remember the first few blogs I wrote. I was treading on water. I had no idea how my posts would be received, if people would even care to read them or what they would think. These musings made way to the realization that if I really enjoyed writing, it shouldn't matter to me what people thought.
The first year I began blogging saw 29 posts. The next year, I wrote 21 posts. Then I wrote just two posts in 2012 and 1 this year. What happened? I'm not sure I know.
Some of my posts did receive feedback from my readers. The post I wrote about my father, the posts written from JackJack's perspective, the topical posts like the one titled, "Whose Ethics" and "The Brat Ban", all of them seemed like people were actually reading what I wrote. So why did I stop writing? I think I allowed other things in my life to take precedence over blogging. My job, my business, my husband, my dog. I allowed them all to get in the way. Or did I? Were these just excuses I allowed myself to make for my lack of motivation? Truth be told, I was running out of topics to write about. There have been times when I have begun a blog post but given up because it didn't seem interesting enough. Once again, insecurity reared its ugly head and looked me straight in the eye. I tried to avert my eyes from it's cold stare, but wasn't quite successful. But once again I have this feeling of not tapping into my full potential, and something inside of me wants to write again.
This has led me once again to make a commitment. I will try to write a blog post at least once a month. Regardless of what I think of the topic and the contents, I will post it online. I think this will help me be less critical of myself and more open to my own faults and shortcomings. It will help me to continue my journey of self-improvement and take concrete steps to overcome my underlying insecurity.
It's never too late to improve, is it?
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