Dr. Jack Kevorkian died yesterday. He was 83. No stranger to controversy, Dr. Kevorkian came into the spotlight in the mid 1990s. He was the first proponent of physician-assisted suicide. After he was paroled in 2007, he promised not to help end any more lives.
Back in the 90s when I first heard about Dr. Kevorkian, he swept into the news with an arrogant and unapologetic opinion of what he did. When I read about him, my first thought was "Murderer!" My second thought was that I didn't know any part of the Hippocratic Oath that condoned what he wanted to do. All I could think of was the fact that someone seemed to take pleasure in ending a life. Why else would he do it? I was quite certain I knew how I felt about the issue. It was wrong, just wrong.
At the time that the Kevorkian controversy made the headlines, I didn't think about having watched a movie about a decade prior, called "Whose Life Is It Anyway?" If you haven't watched it, I definitely recommend that you do. The central character, superbly played by Richard Dreyfuss, is a former sculptor who becomes a quadriplegic from a car accident. No longer able to live the quality of life he used to enjoy, he fights for his right to die. Toward the end of the movie, the emotion-charged speech he makes to the judge hearing his case had me bawling a river of tears as I agreed with everything that was said. Someone who had become a shell of their former self, who would be entirely dependent on life support and an army of medical staff just to function in a normal world, didn't want to live anymore. The argument was compelling and made absolute sense. But wait a minute. When I remembered the movie, I came to a realization that my thoughts about it were in total contradiction to what I believed of Dr. Kevorkian. How could that be?
As I mulled over this obvious conflict, it didn't help that other controversial news stories added to the confusion in my mind. I remember a story I came across in the Readers Digest about a family that had a daughter dying of a rare form of leukemia. The 16 year old desperately needed a bone marrow transplant in order to live. Unable to find a match and running out of time, her parents made a highly controversial decision to conceive a child who could potentially be a bone marrow donor to their ailing daughter. The entire medical community was up in arms over the fact that this solution sounded so morally wrong. To conceive and give birth to a child for the sole purpose of saving another? How could that possibly be right? One argument that was made in favor of the child was that they would have no say in the matter. The child wouldn't be asked if this is what it would want, to be a bone marrow donor or to be operated upon. This, to me, was a very valid point. But then again, how could parents helplessly watch their daughter die? Especially when they felt there was a solution to their problem?
So, how do you address ethical dilemmas such as these? My beliefs don't allow me to even contemplate suicide. How then, could I agree with the argument that someone has a right end a life that has become unlivable? How can I even wrap my head around someone making it their life mission to actually help people accomplish this? How do I justify bringing a child into the world on the off chance that they may be a bone marrow match for their sibling, then subject their fragile little life to the pain and discomfort of surgery? How could any of this be right? All of these aren't even questions I can think of because they are so against everything I believe in.
But that's the point. These questions are not mine to ponder, because of none of this is happening to me. I don't know any of the people that choose to end their lives. I don't know what circumstances cause them to make such a drastic choice. I didn't know what Dr. Kevorkian's moral compass looked like. I don't know how it feels to be so desperate to save your child. In case you're wondering, the little girl conceived as a potential bone marrow donor was a match and was able to save her sister's life. Yet I can't even imagine what it must have been like for the parents of a baby sit by the child's post-surgery bedside, wondering if they had done the right thing. What would I do if I found myself in any situation like the ones I just described? I don't know. I would hope that my faith would help me live the best life I could. I still don't have the answers, but one thing I realize is that I need to live my life guided by my convictions, because that is all I have to guide me. The only thing I can do in any situation is do what feels right to me. Each person's reality is their own, and has nothing to do with anyone else. I need to allow each individual to be guided by their own convictions. As long as they have exhausted every option, as long as their actions don't bring harm to anybody else, as long as they truly believe their decision is the right one, it isn't my place to pass any judgment on the choices they make. Those may not be choices I may make, but I need to respect them.
Which brings us back to the story of the baby. How could the decision of her parents to put a baby through surgery not cause her any harm? The only person who could possibly have an answer to that one is the baby herself. Interestingly enough, the update to this story was aired on The Today Show the same day that Dr. Kevorkian died. The girl named Marissa is now 21. She appeared with her sister Anissa, now 36, whose life was saved. Both sisters brought to the show a behind-the-scenes view to their story. Anissa talked about how Marissa's conception and birth helped their parents focus on something else besides her illness. Marissa brought a positive energy to a situation that was anything but. How could that not be a good thing? Additionally, when asked about how she felt about being born just for the purpose of saving her sister, her answer was simple but very eloquent. "Without her illness I wouldn't be here." So no, it doesn't seem like the surgery did any long-term damage. Marissa talked about the wonderful, loving family she was born into. At the same time she believes everyone is entitled to their opinion about the circumstances that brought her into the world. It was really wonderful and strangely comforting to see a happy ending to this story.
Live well.
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