Should They Stay Or Should They Go?

This month's Readers Digest has an article aptly titled "Make it Stop!"  that lists 31 fads that they believe have to go.  As I read this article, I found myself either nodding my head in agreement or exclaiming "THANK YOU!" as I am known to do when I hear my thoughts expressed by someone else.  But to my own surprise, I found myself disagreeing with some of what I was reading.  Here's are my thoughts on some of the fads mentioned in the article, in no particular order.


ELASTIC WAISTBAND NATION:  I absolutely agree that we have turned into a bunch of slobs that have taken dressing down to a whole new low.  Now I don't necessarily believe we should all dress up to a level of discomfort for any  occasion, but I do believe there is some truth to what the "Pants On The Ground" guy had to say.  We need to get rid of those sweatpants with paint or bleach stains on them, the t-shirt with the tear that we think nobody will notice (trust me, we all see it!) and yes - please - Snuggies!  To quote the Carso Cressley who penned this part of the article, "Adults wearing fleece onsies?  What fresh new hell is this!"


GROUP PRIDE:  I'm not sure I am in full agreement with this fad, if it can be classified as such.  I don't have a problem with people breaking down their heritage (I'm one quarter Cherokke on my dad's side and Jewish, Samoan.....), nor do I have a problem with someone proclaiming themselves as a geek.  I applaud the fact that people have turned aound what was once a disdainful term and choose to wear their geekdom with pride.  As for Croning festivals (apparently for women turning 60, according to the article), I hope I am fortunate enough to live that long.  If I am, I will pull out all the stops to celebrate!


BOWWOW BLING:  Dressing up a dog is stupid.  Thank you, thank you, thank you!  I love my dog JackJack with all my heart, but he is a dog first.  As a matter of fact, that's all he is.  Dogs are not supposed to be dressed up in coordinating outfits as their owner.  They are not supposed be dressed up at all.  No doggie outfits, no puppy nail color for girl dogs, no nothing.  It does not mean you love them any less.  If a dog had a voice, they'd tell you how much they loathe being dressed up.  The next time you see a dressed up dog, look into their eyes.  When you look deep enough, you will see embarrassment and humiliation.


CALLER ID:  I am not sure I agree with this fad that the article puts down.  I love having the ability to screen calls.  I love that I don't have to listen to a telemarketer while they run their speil by me and choose not to hear me when I tell them I'm not interested.  According to the author, back in the day before Caller ID, you could answer the phone "And it's a stranger telling you something that totally changes your mood, your day, maybe your life."  I'm not sure what parallel universe the author may be residing in, but do you remember this ever happening while you inhabited the real world?  I don't.  The other thing I love about Caller ID is that if the call is from someone dear to me, I smile when I see their number show up and I carry that smile into my conversation with them.  The element of surprise still exists, only a few seconds sooner.  That's a convenience I can live with.



BEYOND ONE'S QUALIFICATION: Again, kudos to the author on nailing it. People honestly believe that they can walk into a management position with absolutely no experience relevant to the job. Wake up, wide-eyed and cluelessly delusional twentysomething!  Your parents may have raised you to believe that every little thing you do is magic, but the real world knows better.  The only people who hire just about anyone are those reality shows on MTV. 

 
HIPSTER WORDS:  Another fad that makes me want to raise my hands up heavenward and say Hallelujah.  I have always hated words that end in -ista, like the word Fashionista, as quoted in the article.  There are some words and sentences that are so overused you can almost predict their demise.  Remember "Been there, done that"?  How about "You had me at hello"?  Then there was "24-7-365".  Does this one sound familiar: "Whazzup", especially said the way they did in the Budweiser commercials?  Oh, and those two-word mash-ups that became hip when Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez got together.  Those make my head hurt.  Bennifer?  Really?  I think Lake Superior State University comes up with a list of Banished Words every year.  Please LSSU, if I never hear the word Frenemies again, it won't be soon enough for me!

 
THE DEMISE OF THE LAUGH TRACK:  The article wants the laugh track back in sitcoms.  I disagree with this one.  I don't need a laugh track to help me watch a sitcom.  I am perfectly capable of deciding whether something is funny or not.  Losing the laugh track has made me realize that it was no more than a distraction to begin with. 


HUH?:  The author has a problem with people saying this instead of the more polite "Pardon me" or "I'm sorry, I didn't hear what you said."  Actually this one doesn't bother me as much as the article says it should.  I don't mind someone asking me "Huh?" instead.  I can't stand a "What" thrown my direction in a biting or mean tone. 


THE SHAKY CAM: This phenomenon became popular with the movie "The Blair Witch Project" and has stayed with us much longer than we may have liked it to.  That's true at least for me.  Too much camera movement while the rest of my body is stationary makes me feel dizzy and nauseous.  I don't  like going to a movie and coming out feeling like I want to throw up.  The ticket prices do that to me all on their own. 


SHOULD I FLUSH?:  What if  there is an inconsiderate jerk talking on their cellphone in a public restroom?  Should I flush?  Yes you should.  We all should.  Every time.  You don't owe the schmuck any consideration.  Think about it, what better revenge than possibly creating a situation where they may have to explain the sound of a toilet flushing to the person at the other end of the conversation?


CHURLISH BEHAVIOR = $:  This fad definitely has  to go.  When did we go from being intolerant of bad behavior to accepting, then applauding and now rewarding it?  Eliot Spitzer is a co-anchor on a CNN talk show.  Eliot Spitzer.  This is the same sleazeball douchebag who had his wife stand by his side with a pained look of deep hurt on her face while he confessed his infidelity to the world.  I think that the glorification of misbehavior can be attributed to Reality TV and talk shows.  Bill O'Reilly can bully his guests.  Whoopi and Joy can walk off a set.  Professionalism can be tossed out the window.  A debate is no longer an intelligent exchange of  thought from two different sides of an issue but rather a shouting match of who can get the last word in.  It needs to stop.  The offenders need to be given a permanent time-out.


ANTIBACTERIAL AMERICA:  While I don't think this fad needs to disappear altogether, I do think we have become germophobes to an unhealthy level and to our own detriment.  We do need some germs to give our antibodies something to do.  If not, they become sluggish from non-use.  Also, while there is no scientific evidence of this, I do believe that in some cases there are certain allergies and diseases that are caused by antibodies fighting a person's own immune system.  Another thing I believe is that when we try to get rid of every germ and bacteria with bleach and antibacterial gel, the ones that that survive our obsession only generate organisms that are even harder to kill.  So when you are attacked by one of these super germs, it's like a punch between the eyes.  I am no scientist, but I honestly feel this way because my childhood illnesses come nowhere close in comparison to even a slight cold I may catch nowadays.


As for the rest of the nineteen fads listed in the article (I didn't count, but they said it was 31 and I've listed 12) I don't really have an opinion on them one way or the other.  I do have a list of fads of my own that I think should go.  But that's a different post for another time.  Uh oh, does that last sentence qualify as "Hipster Words"?  I hope not!